Finding my True Confidence: How Pursing my Passion has helped with my Insecurities

Wednesday, February 21, 2018 Montreal, QC, Canada



Self confidence. Saying those words alone comes with a lot of baggage for people.


Take a moment to reflect on the words self confidence and I bet a whole cloud of mixed emotions and specific memories probably comes to mind. No one really wants to talk about confidence issues, I mean I've spent most of my life telling myself that I couldn't possibly have low self-esteem or a lack of confidence. But, here I am. 

Self-Confidence is something that comes and goes, but if you were to ask me a few years ago if I had a confidence problem I would have quickly answered no. I never saw myself as someone who lacked confidence or had low self-esteem growing up. If I were to fill out one of those personality quizzes you find in magazines, I would always get results which showed that I was a fairly confident person. Generally, I was pretty sure of myself growing up. I never felt bad about how I looked or felt like I had to change who I was to fit in… or so I thought. At first, it seemed like these were tiny moments of doubt, but for the most part I still had control of my thoughts and overall mind frame. Unfortunately, those 'moments' started becoming more frequent and soon I was continuously doubting myself, judging myself, and was constantly worried about what others thought of me. Like I said, self-confidence is something that comes and goes, but you don’t realize how much it affects your day to day life when you’re going through a period of self-doubt. 



I’ve shared this often on my blog that even though I am now passionate about dance, for a long time dance and I had a rollercoaster of a relationship. To be honest a lot of my confidence issues came from dance. Being a competitive dancer, it’s very easy to lose yourself in a cloud of comparing yourself to others. Constantly wondering why you don’t look as fit as they do, why your costume isn’t as extravagant, and most of all an overwhelming feeling that you will never be as good as those around you. Through the years of competing, I found myself becoming more and more anxious to step on stage, let alone perform like I knew I could. My issues with self confidence and constantly comparing myself  can beat you down and for awhile I didn’t think I would be able to keep it up… until I found my inner performer. 



Performing for the public was something I took for granted. I never put a huge amount of effort into it and even took a break from it for awhile. I was so focused on competition and trying to improve my scores and placements, that performing for the sake of performing seemed like a waste of my time. That was until the last few months when I rediscovered my love for performing. There’s something about the build up of nerves waiting side stage, the rush of hearing the music start, and the heat from the spotlights on you. In that moment it’s now or never. You can shy away or embrace the vulnerability and let your soul shine on stage. Being vulnerable and allowing people to see emotion and letting myself go was something that terrified me for a long time. I always felt that if I allowed people in, if I allowed them to see the amount of effort I was giving, then they could easily use that against me and tear me down. The fear of being judged held me back for many years; in all aspects of my life. Without even realizing it, I was trying to fit in as much as I could, whether it was how I dressed or who I thought I had to be. Especially for dance, I almost didn’t want to stand out for the fear of not being good enough. Now, I’m confidently stepping outside of the box. Every time I walk out on stage, I’m dancing for myself. I want to perform well for myself because I know I can. No longer do I worry about what someone else is thinking or saying about me, especially for people who aren’t apart of the dance world and might not fully understand it all. 



Finding my Inner Fire 


Suddenly, this new found confidence, real self confidence, has allowed me to reach potentials I didn’t know were possible for me. What I thought was confidence growing up was honestly more me wanting to feel like I wasn’t scared. Like I wasn’t feeling those emotions of self-doubt, when I was only holding myself back. This time last year I realized what my true passions were. I always knew I enjoyed dance, but it's more than that now. It’s no longer just an activity that I participate in, it’s part of my identity. I don’t take any moment for granted anymore. And that goes for everything I do, every choice I make is rooted in what I am passionate about. Choosing my passions and working towards them everyday has allowed me to build the self confidence to take on anything. I think that’s the secret to self confidence. You can never really own who you are, if the choices you make constantly push aside what you really care about. 




I guess the purpose of this blog post is to remind you that you're not alone. Everyone is going through something and we don't always know all of the details about people's lives. In a world where image has become everything, it's easy to get caught up in what seems like everyone's "perfect" life. Living life constantly comparing yourself to people, constantly wondering why you aren't as successful or don't look like them will lead you down a road that will leave you feeling like you'll never be good enough. Instead, focus on what you've accomplished and what you feel passionate about. Those are the things that make you special and stand out from the crowd. If you continue to focus on those skills and ideas, it's incredible how limitless your potential really is. 

5 comments

  1. This was a beautifully written post that is very encouraging. I think that we all (or at least most of us) have areas of self doubt. It's like that saying "Our greatest battles are within our own minds." -Author Unknown. I agree. If you get stuck in your own mindset of self doubt you will be feared to step outside your compfort zone. This is a great reminder for everyone and I wish you the best with all your next endeavours.

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    1. Thank you so much for the lovely comment! I wish you all the best in your future plans as well :)

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  2. I think the message of this post is wonderful. It's so easy to compare yourself to others, bbut if your'e passionate about what you're doing you gain confidence.

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    1. I completely agree! Thank you for the lovely comment :)

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